Appendix Z: Zombie apocalypse
This appendix is part of the Terms of Service (section 17). It applies only where social science researchers turn into zombies and try to eat our servers. In every other case you may go on checking documents as usual.
Z.1. Definitions
"Zombie": a social science researcher who has stopped citing and started biting.
"Server": the computer the Service runs on. The server is not a brain, even though it holds an index of tens of gigabytes of academic papers. We have tried explaining this to the zombies. It did not help.
Z.2. Capacity
A zombie may not accept these terms. It is doubtful that a zombie has reached 18 in the biological sense of section 3.1, and there is no doubt that it cannot tick the consent box without biting the mouse.
Z.3. The writing indicator
The writing indicator does not detect zombies. A text that consists entirely of "brains... brains..." will probably be marked yellow on the uniformity and rhythm indicator, because of the repetition, but this is not evidence of zombiehood. Under the decision rule, a zombie too is assessed by whether it met its obligations.
Z.4. Citation
A bite is not a citation, even when it is surrounded by quotation marks. A passage torn from a colleague counts as copying without attribution.
Z.5. Peer review
A reviewer who rejected your paper three times is not necessarily a zombie. We checked.
Z.6. Liability
We are not liable for a server that was eaten, a report that was chewed, or an index that was dragged out of the server room. A check that failed because of a bite to the server is returned to your balance under section 11.1, provided someone is left to return it.
Z.7. What to do
Barricade yourself in the library. Zombies in the social sciences have not gone in there for years, out of habit. If the library is closed, write to us: support@openplaglabs.com.
Z.8. After the apocalypse
When the apocalypse is over, the Service will return to normal. Researchers who have come back to themselves are invited to check the papers they wrote during their zombie period. Highly recommended.